They say that if it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid. I would respectfully disagree with that statement.
Bad people can come up with good ideas, but a good idea from a bad person isn’t always reliable. Just because something gets the job done doesn’t mean it’s your best option, and sometimes a bit of critical thinking can save you from a world of pain.
Here is a collection of technically correct lifehacks by some certainly idiotic people.
1. As an added bonus, the tape acts as a filter!
Perfect for covering all of your facial flaws — but don’t expect it to hide your inherent sadness. That’ll still come through in the photo.
2. This is easy to get out of.
Before returning it, also 3D print your own Illuminati. Have the two Illuminatis fight to the death while you stroll away with your new 3D printer.
3. With enough practice, you can actually train yourself to make your screams sound different.
Like, the woooooooooossshhh of a toilet flush or the vvvvwwwoooooomm a hand dryer! No one will have any idea what you’re doing in there!
4. Do you think I could get them to send me a meatball or two?
I’m sorry, I must be confused. I thought that was the only reason anyone went to Ikea.
5. No hair? No problem!
If it works for eyebrows, why wouldn’t it work for your head? You also have the additional benefit of never having to wash it — it’s basically better than real hair in every way!
6. Why didn’t I think of this?
Normally when I accidentally send the wrong text to someone, I block their number, throw my phone in a lake, and get a haircut. This is revolutionary.
7. Please don’t try and suggest you’re smarter than the person who invented bagels.
If they didn’t need stabilization holes, they wouldn’t have been designed with them. Now adhere to safety regulations and put your finger in the knife hole.
8. This tip is great because it applies to anything you want to stop yourself from doing.
Spending too much time petting your dog? Tape thumbtacks to its spine. Don’t wanna call your ex? Tape ’em to their contact in your cellphone.
9. A DIY bookmark for only a buck? Incredible.
And if you’re really frugal, you could even take it a step further! Spend only fifty cents by ripping the bill in half!
10. This is just crazy enough to work.
Simply pull it from the freezer, heat it up on the stove, and you’re ready to go! Just think of all the time you’ll save!
11. Perfect for when you forget that you’re trying to care about your own well-being.
You’ll also have the option to switch your selection from cola to root beer, which is great if you’re indecisive.
12. As a compulsive key misplacer, this is going to change my life.
And you also get a super cool new fashion accessory. Everyone will be so jealous of your nose key ring!
13. I did something similar to this that saved me tons of time painting my toenails.
I cut them (my toes) off. My balance is terrible, but now I’m stress-free when it comes to pedicures!
14. If you’re gonna waste all that paper covering your dirty dishes, I might suggest just buying paper plates.
They will also serve as a nice reminder that you’re not the kind of person who deserves nice things.
15. Why stop there? You can create whole socks, gloves, and hats with this method.
Think of the money you’ll save! Found a design you like? Tattoo it on forever, no problem.
16. Use laptop batteries to fashion the perfect makeshift panini press!
On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t do that. I’m pretty confident that warranties don’t cover fire, theft, or acts of cheese.