Typically, parents have known you from birth. On one side of that coin, you’ve probably got unconditional love and support from another human being. On the other side, there’s a person or two out there in the world who knows how to hurt you more than anything you could possibly imagine. Occasionally, parents choose to use their evil powers and deliver a gut-punch like nobody else could.
1. Mom swinging into your DMs to remind you that you’re the reboot nobody asked for.
The only way anyone will want to watch your Tom Cruise Mummy movie is if they’ve never heard of Brendan Fraser.
2. Because publicly shaming your kid should be a spectator sport.
I honestly don’t know if this would motivate me to do better in school or start making me cheer against the Cavs.