Men’s fashion doesn’t change nearly as often, or as drastically as women’s. The variations in men’s clothing through the decades is as subtle as the width of their necktie or the pattern of their shirt, but basics like jeans, t-shirts and suits have been the standard for a long time. These trends, specifically, are the top ones men should veer away from if their goal is to impress the ladies.
1. Bushy Beards
Look, unless you spend 300 days out of the year in the woods, roaming around with bears, you should reconsider the bushy beard. Sure, it may suit you, I’ll give you that, but no woman wants to kiss a guy with a beard that holds half of the food you ate on the day. Also, we really don’t want to search for your lips every time we go in for a kiss.
First off, this is a health risk. I mean come on, do you want to jeopardize your chance of having babies for fashion? Even if you’re not into kids, you need to do away with this fashion trend. Especially if your legs look better in skinny jeans than the girl you’re dating. That’s just cruel.
It’s not like we expect you to buy a custom suit every time. You can buy a suit off-the-rack and have a tailor sew it in to fit you better at a low fee. It just takes some effort guys.
Socks and sandals
Ah, a classic. Every guy knows this one’s bad. It has made every worst male fashion trends list. And yet, men are still trying to rock the socks and sandals combo. It’s like they want to repel us and, well, it’s working.
Unless you are a waiter, please stop wearing vests over T-shirts, buttoned up shirts or with nothing underneath. If we want to date a waiter, we would date a waiter. It’s not like it’s giving you extra coverage in winter or something. Burn them now.
Popped shirt collars
Why? Do you want people to know you are an jerk? Because this is what you’re saying with that raised collar. Wear that shirt the way it was supposed to be worn.
Look, you’re not a millionaire. If you were, you would afford to hire a fashion stylist to slap you any time you try to wear a wallet chain. Just put it in your jean pocket and move on — nobody’s going in there.
I don’t want you to get confused with all of these no no’s, so I’ll make it easy for you. Fleece jackets have an age limit. When a guy’s age is in the double digits, fleece jackets should not be worn. So, unless you’re under the age of nine you really need to burn those fleece jackets.
‘Oh hello, let me just unbutton my trousers’ said no woman ever, having seen a man’s chest protruding unpleasantly from a deep V.
Long T- shirts
You have no camel toe. You’re not trying to pull the dress over pants trend. You’re not a five-year-old who has fallen into a puddle of water and had to wear his father’s T-shirt. So, stop wearing really long T-shirts.
Stop wearing cowboy hats unless you’re a real-life cowboy. Or a bad guy (you’re probably not). Or Clint Eastwood (you’re definitely not). Or you’ve just single-handedly rounded up wild cattle (your two cats don’t count). If not, leave the cowboy hat for Halloween.
Those tan lines they create are terrible. When a tank top is too tight or weirdly-fitting, maybe stay away from it. Besides, tank tops should be a no-no for both genders.
The trend of men’s Uggs has escalated for the same reasons as women’s – they’re so darn comfortable. But the trend hasn’t taken off quite enough for women to not think a man in Ugg boots looks like he’s wearing women’s shoes, or even his house slippers. Ugg does make men’s shoes that simply look like traditional boots, but women agree that this suede, laceless, fur-lined style should stay far away from a man’s foot.
An elegant watch, a wedding band, a signet ring we can live with. When you start straying into Russell Brand or Richard Hammond territory in the jewellery stakes, it’s time to take a good, hard look at where your life is heading.
If there’s no beach within a 100 metre radius then men should never EVER be seen in flip flops. Full stop. Yes Michael Fassbender, that includes the Venice Film Festival, which you have to concur is not technically a beach. We wouldn’t mind so much if there was a preparatory pedicure involved, but nothing turns a girl’s stomach more than ‘tramp foot’.