Like many of you, I think I spend the majority of my life confused. Very confused.
It’s not all our fault. It’s a confusing world out there. We don’t have to make sense of it all — if we even could, we’d probably be crazier than we already are.
So just sit back, and let the confusion wash over you like a gentle breeze. When you think about it, it’s actually pretty healthy!
1. You know what’s not healthy? These jandals.
Ugh, just thinking about how soggy and nasty those things are gonna get the minute they get wet makes my skin crawl. Of course, I say that as someone who could fill a glass of water with my sock-water after a five-minute walk. Go figure.
2. So…this has to be designed to summon the demon lord of cell phones, right?
Its name is Nok’ya Nos’Ignal, and it thirsts for the souls of the innocent. Also, you have to type by pressing number keys a bunch of times, it sucks.
3. Some heroes don’t get parades, but I would shower the streets in marinara to honor this champion.
Listen, it’s not every day that some anonymous troll breaks into your home and leaves stuff behind instead of stealing from you. It’s just magical.